Home Alone & No One To Play With? Get Ready to Push Your Limits with Solo BDSM

What’s a kinky single to do? Flipping through profiles at FetLife or settling in for another night of endless internet clips isn’t always enough to satisfy your kinky cravings. You need to get some action now!

Maybe you already have a date for Friday, and who knows – it might pan out and you’ll meet that sexy submissive or domme you desire. But in the meantime, you need a little playtime. Of course, you could always find a local professional to help you out, but why not experiment with solo BDSM. There are plenty of challenging and exciting ways for you to stimulate yourself in the comfort and privacy of your own home.


Whether you’re a dom or a sub, you probably love the feel of ropes. For doms, it’s a great way to practice your technique. If you don’t have ropes handy there are plenty of other things around the house you could try, including, belts, scarves, or bandages. Tying yourself up can be tricky but with a little creativity it can be more exciting than you think. Check out this link for great self-bondage ideas. For an extra kick, throw a little flogging in, that’s if you have a free hand.

For safety sake, make sure you don’t get yourself into something you can’t get out of, and be aware that using gags can be dangerous when you’re alone. If you want to a try a ball gag alone without risking suffocation, try a whiffle ball with a scarf threaded through for a breathing passage.


When you control your orgasm, you can achieve and maintain a high level of arousal for a prolonged period before coming. Sounds great, right? What delicious torture! It can be very intense to tease yourself into hovering just a notch before climax, and when you finally decide to let yourself come, the orgasm is often bigger and better than usual. Even if you would normally be the one to tie and tease your partner, there’s always value in learning to control your own orgasms.

Alone, you have total control over the speed, feeling, and level of pressure. Try masturbating until you reach the plateau phase just before climax, then slow down just enough to avoid orgasming. Keep yourself at this level if you can before ultimately come or deny yourself altogether for some good ole orgasm denial. Make the clock your master – once you slow down to avoid climax, vow to keep yourself in blissful torture for a prescribed amount of time. I’m guessing even 3 minutes would be an eternity!


In need of a little punishment? Try flogging yourself! For some, flogging is all about the pain, but most will report that the real excitement comes from the release of endorphins. You’ll find it easy to whip your back and legs and with a little practice you’ll also be able to get at your backside. For those new to flogging, please read flogging basics and important safety information. Don’t have a flogger? Watch Drew Lion demonstrate how to make your own.


Is CBT your thing? Don’t wait for a mistress to stomp on your balls or put you on a very tight leash. It’s do-it-yourself time! CBT can range from edge play to more sensual acts. Take that tie off your neck and wrap it tightly around your cock and balls. Or pick up a ball stretcher to really expose your nuts to light whipping, dripping wax, or icy sensations.

Need some inspiration too, ladies? Consider clamps, clothes pins, mousetraps, or chopsticks with elastics. Throw in a bit of pussy paddling and spanking for good measure. Just remember to keep the circulation flowing and the temperature at a level that is safe.


You can be alone at home and still find a playmate to interact with online. I’ll give you two suggestions.

The less expensive option is to join a BDSM dating site with live video and audio chat rooms, make new friends, and have really naughty webcam sex. Hopefully you’ll also meet someone local, so you don’t have to top yourself forever. These sites are good value, usually under $30 a month to be part of a thriving BDSM community.

For immediate satisfaction, you can seek out live cam sites. Top or bottom, BSDM cam sex can be very good. If you’re a sub, find a dominatrix or very dominant cam girl who can cook up a scenario and tell you what to do. For doms, it can be a real buffet. Going for a private session is going to set you back. I recommend spending time in the open chat rooms and asking different women about their limits before treating yourself to some one-on-one.

What are your thoughts? Who’s tying themselves up and who’s teasing themselves to new heights of ecstasy? Dare to share?

25 Turn ons for Girls

Photo by www.Nooki.co.za

When you pull me over to your side of the bed in the morning.

    1. Because we are still waking up, and

there is no better way to do that than in a handsome guys arms.

When you tell me you think I’m beautiful.

Beautiful holds so much more weight than pretty or gorgeous, especially when a guy drops it unexpectedly when you are both just chilling out in your lounge wear.

When you compliment me on something non-physical.

I love it when you tell me how funny, kind, intelligent, or deep I am because it re-assures me that you are not just with me for my body. (But don’t stop telling me I’m beautiful either.)

When you are kind to total strangers.

When you get up for the elderly and pregnant ladies on the subway, or you stop to chat to a stranger on the street and pet his dog; my heart does a major backflip in my chest.

When you touch my knee under the table.

It doesn’t need to be anything more than your leg gently brushing mine, but it definitely heats things up a whole lot and gets me thinking.

When you remembered what I told you three weeks ago.

I’m always wondering if you are really listening to me. So when you do something thoughtful like treating me to lunch at that restaurant I told you I loved, or you secretly read my favorite book and then share your thoughts on it, I’m blown away.

When you make me laugh.

Who doesn’t love laughing? Make my sides hurt with laughter and you’ll instantly be more attractive than you were five minutes ago. Bonus points if you are able to laugh at yourself, too.

When you whisper in my ear.

It doesn’t matter so much what you are saying to me, but having your face so close against mine and feeling your warm breath against my ear just kind of does it for me.

When you give me a massage after a long, stressful day.

Even if you just massage my neck or my feet, I won’t be able to stop thinking about you touching me in other places.

When you gently touch my hair.

When you tuck a strand of my purple hair back behind my ear it is such an innocent act but gets me falling hard for you every time.

When you surprise me.

Something as small as showing up with my favorite candy bar, or picking a flower on your way over to my place and giving it to me, or something as extravagant as a romantic weekend away it doesn’t really matter what the surprise is, because it all shows that you are thinking about me.

When we wake up and you are already making coffee.

You can stay over ALL the time if this is what mornings look like with you.

When you are a total gentleman.

Most girls still like a bit of chivalry and to be treated like ladies. Open the door for us, hold our hand when were crossing the road, or pull the chair out for us at dinner and well be putty in your hands.

When you are quietly confident.

Women love confidence, but not the showing off kind. When you are standing tall, but sitting back, and quietly taking your surroundings in that is sexy as hell.

When you pulls my legs onto your lap when we are watching TV.

My feet feel like they’ve been transported to a spa, and your hands caressing my legs feels amazing.

When you touch me lightly.

Nothing is more of a turn off than a guy who doesn’t rush things girls LOVE the build up. Touch us lightly, softly, and subtly all over our arms, legs, neck, and face and well go from zero to ten in no time.

When you text me cute random messages.

It could be something as small as, hope you are having a great day, or I can’t wait to see you tonight. It doesn’t really matter what you say, it is the simple act of letting me know you are thinking of me that gets me going.

When you cook us a candle-lit dinner.

Girls love food, even those of us who order salads when were on a date with you. Even if you can’t cook and the meal ends up being terrible, well still think you are awesome for going to all that effort. And well want to say thank you.

When you don’t just kiss my lips.

That sweet spot behind my ears, the back of my neck, and my forehead are all sensitive areas for us ladies and huge turn ons. It mixes the usual make-out session up, and adds to the anticipation of your lips finally meeting mine.

When you carry my suitcase and yours.

It is not that I’m incapable of carrying my own bag, it is just lovely when someone unexpectedly takes the weight off and makes my life a little easier. The image of a man quietly showing me his strength is super sexy.

When you lift me up literally.

Maybe its because Ive seen Dirty Dancing one too many times, but I’m a sucker for being lifted up, or spun around. The feeling of our bodies fitting next to each other feels sensual and spontaneous, and you’ll win my heart every time.

When you are patient.

When you are happy to wait however long it takes, whether it comes to getting physical or getting ready in the mornings, the happier I’ll be with you. You won’t believe the number of times other guys will have tried to rush me, so when you give me the time I need its refreshingly sweet and so noticed.

When you smells incredible.

Yes, I want my man to look good, but the right smell can light up my senses, and magnetically draw me closer and closer to you.

When you wear a tux or tailored suit.

There is nothing more attractive than a guy who is suited and booted and looking like a straight up ten outta ten. As long as you are wearing it with confidence, you’ll instantly look hotter and more powerful in my eyes.

When you come up behind me and hug me.

When I’m doing the dishes, putting my makeup on, or cooking dinner, and you put your arm around my waist from behind, and maybe also kisses my neck This is GOLD.